Even difficult conversations are easier and more productive when you use story telling and images.
Learning how to communicate so your team listens is a process that leads to real alignment. Trying to figure out how to communicate so your team listens is where most leaders get stuck. We all receive hundreds—if not thousands—of messages every day.We constantly filter what matters from what doesn’t. Think about it: you probably don’t remember everything your boss said over the last few weeks.The same is happening on your team. Good communication accounts for the fact that memory is…
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Why people don’t listen to you at work—it’s one of the most common leadership frustrations. At some point, nearly every client comes to me mystified about why people don’t listen to you at work. They explain the situation clearly.They outline what needs to happen.They check for understanding. And still—people don’t follow through the way they expected. At first, it’s confusing.Then it’s frustrating. Because from their perspective, they were clear. The surprising answer is this: it’s not just about what they…
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Animal empathy? Research suggests that many animals empathize just like we do—or at least sort of like we do. The basis for animal empathy is mirror neurons, which were actually first detected in monkeys rather than humans. Researchers observed that the monkeys’ brains were activated in the same way whether they were grasping an object or watching another monkey grasp an object. That is the magic of mirror neurons and empathy: whether we do it or see it, our brain…
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Today I’m sharing another book about empathy that saves lives and that has deepened my gratitude for empathy. Empathy that saves lives? Yes, this is a book about how empathy, or the lack of it, results in life or death. The title is Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. This is another personal and practical book, this time by a former FBI terrorist negotiator. Voss details his own journey to learn…
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One step beyond feeling empathy is tactical empathy, or what some people call, validation. Tactical empathy is the act of letting another person know you see them, you hear them, you understand them. To be effective, validation has to resonate with the other person as if they said it themselves. The easiest way to do this is to mirror what they said, or copy it. Hearing their own thoughts from another person’s mouth is a powerful experience. This is a…
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Empathy vs sympathy: they sound alike but they are quite different. We feel sympathy for someone and, in contrast, we feel empathy with someone, that’s the difference between empathy vs sympathy. Feeling sympathy for someone implies a certain distance. It’s more like feeling pity for someone. They are feeling something that you are not. They are struggling, and you are not. When you empathize with someone, you feel what they are feeling. So rather than distancing, it is bonding.…
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