Learning to Handle a Distant Boss and Lead Yourself — Marcus, Post 3 of 6 - Lisa D. Foster, Leadership Coaching & Training

August 20, 2026

Ever get a lukewarm review from a boss who was never around enough to help you develop your skills?

After his first full year in his new post, Marcus had a setback that taught him how handle a distant boss and lead himself. He didn’t feel appreciated or challenged, and over time, he got into a rut.

Customer Journey: Marcus

Marcus was a tech executive who came to coaching during a career transition. Over the years that followed, he navigated new roles, organizational change, difficult bosses, and periods of uncertainty.

Marcus’s journey explores self-leadership, resilience, confidence, and learning to take ownership of his own growth.

Each post explores a real coaching conversation or leadership challenge from that journey. This is post three of six.

This is an important transition that many people miss. At higher levels, you need to generate ideas and show you can drive a team forward.

Your boss doesn’t wait for someone to tell them what to do. In many roles, your growth is your responsibility. To handle a distant boss, you need to take charge of your own growth.

At this point, we shifted coaching to once a month, as he was still encountering new situations.

How to Handle a Distant Boss

Marcus had expected some reshuffling at the beginning of the year. Often people stayed in an organization for 20 years or more, so annual reshuffling gave people new opportunities and kept people challenged.

This year, his boss was promoted, and Marcus got a new boss. He was based in London.

He was very nice but, to Marcus, he felt disengaged. He signaled that he was very busy. Marcus got little feedback from him and almost no guidance.

It was the opposite of his prior boss with whom he had weekly 1:1s. It was hard to get 1:1 time with this boss at all, even once a quarter. He said, “You know what to do. Just do it. I trust you.”

So, he did what he had been doing before. He managed his team well. He administered the systems he had put in place.

But he didn’t feel appreciated and he didn’t feel challenged. Over time, he got into a rut.

His team did what they had done before, but he didn’t challenge them much. He appreciated them, but eventually, without input from his boss, he wasn’t sure where to go from there.

The year went by uneventfully.

Doing Fine Is Not Good Enough

At the beginning of the following year during performance reviews, Marcus was surprised to find out that his boss had rated him average in all areas: leadership, collaboration, strategy, and execution.

Two others who reported to him were rated a level higher, as Above Average.

“I could see why he rated me as average,” he admitted. “I didn’t push myself.” Marcus was honest, even though it was a painful insight as he learned how to handle a distant boss.

“But I would have pushed myself if I’d had some feedback and some encouragement. It’s hard to know where you are if there is just a leadership void above you.”

He reflected further. “I didn’t want to be seen as a complainer, so I didn’t ask for more. Now, I feel I’m sidelined again. I feel like my boss was prioritizing his needs and didn’t help me be my best.”

I knew he needed some encouragement so I asked him to reflect on what more he could be doing. “What could you be doing better?”

“I had an idea that would improve our results,” he said. “What I need to do is put together the material, socialize it with my network to get feedback and input, and then bring it to a meeting.”

As soon as he had a project and direction for growth, he perked up and regained his energy.

“When are you going to put the material together and socialize it?” I asked.

“By the end of February,” he said. “I need to make the best of this situation. I can motivate myself if that’s what it takes.”

He bounced back because he had confidence in himself and knew what he could do. Now, he was ready to show them how he could lead himself.