Surviving a boss who yells, micromanages, and emails you at midnight — and wondering what you can possibly learn from it?
The next year, Marcus faced his biggest challenge of all — a bad boss.
Customer Journey: Marcus
Marcus was a tech executive who came to coaching during a career transition. Over the years that followed, he navigated new roles, organizational change, difficult bosses, and periods of uncertainty.
Marcus’s journey explores self-leadership, resilience, confidence, and learning to take ownership of his own growth.
Each post explores a real coaching conversation or leadership challenge from that journey. This is post four of six.
At this point, Marcus encountered layoffs. About 2,000 people were let go, and his team was broken up. Half his team was let go. Marcus was grateful he had not lost his job.
But soon he was reassigned to a different division where his skillset didn’t match at all.
His new boss turned out to be a bully. He started commuting at 5:30 AM, and Marcus often had 20 emails before 8 AM. Demanding emails would continue until midnight, and often on weekends.
He seemed haphazard and unpredictable. He would come into the office yelling. He discouraged everyone. He was judgy, telling people what they should do or if their work was good or bad.
The experience was demoralizing. Marcus started applying out, anything to get out of this division.
“For my own sanity, I have to make the best of it,” he said, trying to salvage his attitude.
Marcus became a sounding board for other unhappy teammates. They trusted him.
He listened, empathized, and encouraged them to do the best they could so they could move out of this division. They would be judged by their performance. Even if they don’t like the work or the boss, it was in their best interest to do their best.
Sometimes the team would solve problems, and the boss would take credit for the solution.
Even his Bad Boss Saw Marcus as a Leader
Even the boss recognized Marcus as a leader. He asked him: why do they come to you and not me?
He shrugged. Marcus had come a long way since he worried about being unapproachable.
After a few months, it was clear that the boss was having a hard time keeping track of where projects were. One day, he called Marcus into his office and admitted: “I’m drowning here. I need help,”
Marcus became his de facto right hand, helping him organize projects, create score cards and progress milestones.
But even after he started helping him out, the boss continued to yell at him often and demean him.
He told me more than once that coaching was the hour he looked forward to most.
Most leaders learn from hardship, and this was no different. I helped Marcus see what he was learning, even if he was learning what not to do as a leader.
He learned about the effects of bad leadership, the emotional contagion of how a boss’s bad mood can ruin everyone’s day.
Leadership Is Not a Title
He learned that leadership is not a title but an attitude about helping others be their best.
He learned about burnout and how to pull back effort in order to make time for himself. He established boundaries by not returning emails after 8 PM or before 8 AM.
He learned how demeaning micromanaging is. Being told what to do made him feel disrespected and treated like a child. It was a year of just surviving under the worst circumstances.
To help him maintain his spirits while being underappreciated by his bad boss, I offered three suggestions:
- 1. At the end of each day, write down 3 things you did well or got done that day.
- 2. In the morning before work, write down 3 things you’re grateful for, even if it’s just your dog.
- 3. Remember every day: You are good at your job. You are not the problem.
I reminded him that he wasn’t let go. They needed time to reorganize and build that function back.
Sure enough, around October, a senior manager reached out to him and encouraged him to apply for a team he was restructuring.
Continue the Journey
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