In mid-career, Carrie was still moving sideways instead of up — and wondering if something about how she come across was holding her back.
Customer Journey Series: Carrie
Carrie is a finance executive who came to coaching during a career transition. Over the years that followed, she navigated new roles, organizational change, layoffs, difficult bosses, and periods of uncertainty.
Her journey explores self-leadership, resilience, confidence, and learning to take ownership of her own growth.
Each post in this series examines a real coaching conversation or leadership challenge from Carrie’s journey.
This is the first post in Carrie’s journey.
When Carrie first reached out to me, she was looking for a new job.
Carrie was a Senior Director of Finance and Operations in New York at a large and very competitive organization. She was in her mid-40s, with over 20 years of experience in her industry.
As the only daughter of immigrant parents, she was an over achiever and a go-getter. She had two kids in middle school, and she was the main breadwinner for her family.
She had worked in this organization for ten years, at first moving up, but for the last five years, mostly moving laterally.
“I’m a survivor,” she said. “I work hard, I have good networks, and I always find a new post or position when my team is reorganized.”
Looking back, that instinct to keep adapting would become one of Carrie’s greatest strengths.
But at the moment, she was tired of moving laterally and wanted to move up. She had given up hope that she would be recognized there and was applying out to a competitor’s firm.
In our first session, she told me she had an interview the next day and could I help her prepare?
The first thing we did was identify her strengths. Her strongest skill was her technical expertise. Over her career, she had developed excellent operational and managerial skills.
We identified her core technical skills. Then I asked her to tell me a story about how she developed or used these skills to bring value to the company. She worked on a story for each one. She also had a story of her leadership, developing a talented team member who was promoted twice in two years.
I told her to practice the stories a few times to smooth out her delivery and help her project confidence. By the next day, she was ready for her interview, and she got the job.
In a New Job, Deeper Concerns Emerge
She came back two weeks later. She was thrilled, but she also had some concerns.
In particular, she admitted that she was assertive. She knew it was important in finance to be strong and not back down easily, but she was worried that sometimes maybe she was too assertive. How would she know?
I asked her for an example, and she said that in a recent meeting, someone took an opposing view from her. She didn’t want to back down, so she let him know where she was. For a few minutes, it was just Carrie and the other guy going back and forth. At the end, there was no agreement.
“He didn’t change his mind and I didn’t change mine. We just let it go and moved on.”
I asked, “how do you think the other people felt watching this dynamic?”
“I think they didn’t want to get in the middle of it. They might have felt uncomfortable, maybe even a little afraid to speak up.”
“Is that how you want to be seen?” I asked.
“Well,” Carrie said, “not really. I don’t want people to be afraid of talking to me or speaking up around me.”
She was silent for a moment, thinking about how others might perceive her.
This is often how coaching works. A question can change your perspective of a moment and lead to deeper insights that help you consider your effect on others and how you want to be perceived.
Then she said, “The truth is that a few people have told me that I’m unapproachable. I’m not really sure how to be any different than I am, and I want to be authentic. But I think I want to be more approachable. Can you help me with that?”
“Absolutely,” I said.
So, although Carrie first came to me for interview preparation, she stayed in coaching because she wanted to address some of the things that would help her be more successful as she moved into her new role.
Carrie’s Values:
One of the first things I ask coaching clients to do is define their leadership values. Leadership values become a compass during difficult decisions and help leaders consistently show up the way they want to be remembered.
Carrie learned a lot about leadership during the time I worked with her. Her leadership values reflect her career maturity.
- Build my network. I need others to see my value and know my work. Focus on building relationships and visibility above me.
- Be confident in my abilities. Control my insecurities when I report up to people at my boss’s level and above. As a first generation American, I sometimes feel I don’t belong, and I need to control that. I’ve earned my place here.
- Have high work ethics. Go above and beyond. Challenge myself and bring new ideas to the team.
- Take time to help others. Mentoring others helps my own visibility and adds value to the team.
- Be respectful and treat everyone fairly, even when things are stressful. Be empathetic and compassionate for whatever they are going through.
Continue the Journey
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