Gratitude is a powerful way to improve almost any situation or relationship. Every year in November, I offer my readers 30 days of gratitude in My Gratitude Project.
Conflict and empathy: usually empathy is more effective. If you’re gearing up for conflict and empathy crosses you mind, what should you do? Instead of conflict, try empathy. I know what you are thinking. If you want to fight, the last thing you want to do is empathize. So, ask yourself, do you want to fight or do you want results? Conflict comes from the head—from the need to be right or to stay in control. On the contrary, empathy…
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Today I’m sharing another book about empathy that saves lives and that has deepened my gratitude for empathy. Empathy that saves lives? Yes, this is a book about how empathy, or the lack of it, results in life or death. The title is Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. This is another personal and practical book, this time by a former FBI terrorist negotiator. Voss details his own journey to learn…
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Sometimes we forget to pay attention to empathy and body language: the loudest clues that have no sound at all. Let’s take a moment to talk about empathy and body language. Our bodies are always talking, signaling how we really feel. Regardless of what our words say, our bodies give us away. Unless you are a professional poker player or actor, you probably don’t think about or control how your face and body posture broadcast your feelings to the world.…
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When empathy is a gift, friendship and gratitude grow. I remember the day that I realized that empathy is a gift. It was over 5 years ago, shortly after my mother passed away. My best friend called me up and asked if I wanted to take a walk. Yes, I said gratefully. How I needed some fresh air! We walked for about an hour, and she almost didn’t say anything. She just let me talk. Losing a loved one brings…
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Acceptance is another powerful practice related to empathy. Acceptance is acknowledging the reality of a situation without judging or trying to change it. This is a powerful practice that many of us resist. When we do get there, it almost always leads to gratitude. For most people, this is the hardest part of empathy. Naturally, much of the time, we have a tendency to want things to be different from how they are right now. The world is far from…
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When we break it down, empathy becomes a number of small acts and practices of empathy. Here are a few practical and tactical practices of empathy, with special thanks to Caroline Fleck and her excellent book on Validation: Whatever you call it and whatever you do, use these empathy skills to keep your mind on their experience and help you understand them. Try various ways to show you get them and see what works best for you. This post is…
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