Personally, I use empathy in coaching daily.
I’ve found empathy in coaching helps the little problems and the little ones. I had a client not too long ago who needed a lot of empathy. When our first session opened, she was in tears. She was managing a complex project with many delays and difficulties, and the process had turned toxic. Professional norms had broken down, and it had become normal to yell and scream and blame throughout meetings. I thought it was a good sign in our first session that, at the end, she had stopped crying.
Over the next few months, I listened. I didn’t offer much advice, except to be kind to herself. The first sessions were all over the place. Different people would come up, different issues, and then the conversation would morph into a new area. I did my best to keep up and understand all the different ways her job had become a problem. I just tried to understand, repeat her problems back to her, and validate her experience.
Hearing someone else articulate your own problems is a powerfully healing experience. When someone else says them, the problems sound logical, understandable, perhaps even surmountable. You start to hear the cracks in the story and the opportunities for change.
A few months in, she learned to clearly separate what she could control from what she couldn’t change. She stopped worrying about the things outside her control and focused more productively on the things she could control.
Within a few months, she was moving forward and working with others to reduce their stress by empathizing with them. I saw her ability to help others as a great sign, a sign of healing inside herself to the point where she had enough space and energy to look outward.
Her calm, productive approach didn’t solve the delays, but it made them bearable. I am grateful to the power of empathy for helping there be one person in less pain.
This post is part of my Gratitude Project 2025: The Magic of Empathy — a 30-day exploration of empathy and gratitude. Visit the hub to follow along or catch up on past reflections.
If this resonates, explore more about leadership coaching and how empathy in leadership transforms teams and results.
If you’d like to explore the science behind gratitude, visit the Greater Good Science Center’s Gratitude Resources.
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