When empathy is a gift, friendship and gratitude grow.
I remember the day that I realized that empathy is a gift. It was over 5 years ago, shortly after my mother passed away. My best friend called me up and asked if I wanted to take a walk. Yes, I said gratefully. How I needed some fresh air!
We walked for about an hour, and she almost didn’t say anything. She just let me talk.
Losing a loved one brings up so many memories. I was processing them all along with my grief, and that first week, I just tried to get through the events I had to show up for without sounding like a total wreck. To be sure, sometimes I failed.
Finally, in the outdoors with my best friend, I tried to make sense of my mother’s life and story. My mother was a Holocaust survivor, so there was a lot to make sense of. My friend just listened and witnessed, occasionally asking a question for clarification. By the end of the walk, I had a clear, guiding thought. I hoped that my mother, after spending the first decade of her life in a war-torn world, had found happiness. It felt so good to find the relief of a solid thought in the fog of grief.
I could not have reached that moment without the empathetic ear of my friend, to whom I’m indebted. Since then, I have paid that favor forward and called other friends and relatives after a great loss. I just listen. I know they need an hour or so, and I plan for that. Every time I have done it, they have returned the favor with gratitude. It builds our relationship closer, and hopefully, in some measure, compensates for our losses. This is the gratitude of true friendship.
This post is part of my Gratitude Project 2025: The Magic of Empathy — a 30-day exploration of empathy and gratitude. Visit the hub to follow along or catch up on past reflections.
If you’d like to explore the science behind gratitude, visit the Greater Good Science Center’s Gratitude Resources.
