Innate mirror neurons hardwire us for empathy.
We are born with mirror neurons and empathy, which promote the emotional connection we need to thrive. How we use empathy in daily life determines how well we create the bonds that satisfy our human needs.
Yesterday, I wrote about copying someone’s words as a way of signaling that you hear them and at least, that you are interested in hearing more from them. But actually, mirroring or copying doesn’t require words at all. You can simply use body language to signal your empathy.
Watch people on the street and you will notice that many people are mirroring each other. When people are in sync, you will see them walking with the same foot forward at the same time, or sitting on a subway with their legs crossed just the same way. Watch people laughing together at a restaurant or bar and see if their hands gesture or heads tilt just the same way.
Our tendency to reflect those we’re emotionally connected with is due to mirror neurons, a type of brain cell that fires whether someone performs an action or sees an action. In the 1990s, researchers identified special brain cells in monkeys that were activated in the exact same way when the monkey grabbed an object or when the monkey saw another monkey grab an object.
We have all experienced someone else’s emotions, that is empathy. For example, after watching an action movie, we typically feel drained. As we watch, our adrenaline pumps as if we are in the movie, though we are safely sitting on the couch or a chair. Whether we are the actor or the watcher, our brains respond the same way.
Mirror neurons explain how babies learn, even very early in infancy. If you stick your tongue out, they will too. The urge to mirror someone is the urge to empathize. If I do what you do, or if I simply witness what you do, I can feel what you feel.
We might as well call them empathy neurons. So, empathy is not just a soft skill or a feeling. It’s part of our hardware. We are wired to mirror others’ gestures and feelings. That means, empathy is innate for everyone. We just have to get our own ego out of the way long enough to notice someone else. When we do, we are usually grateful we did.
This post is part of my Gratitude Project 2025: The Magic of Empathy — a 30-day exploration of empathy and gratitude. Visit the hub to follow along or catch up on past reflections.
If you’d like to explore the science behind gratitude, visit the Greater Good Science Center’s Gratitude Resources.
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