Managing up and down gets complicated when change starts a level or two above you.
A new general manager arrives, or a new CEO. They aren’t your boss. They’re your boss’s boss, or higher. But their ideas don’t stay at the top. They cascade down through every level of the organization.
As those changes cascade, they sometimes meet resistance. Your boss may not agree with the new direction, or may feel threatened by it. Your team hears mixed signals and wonders what’s really going to happen.
And you’re in the middle, figuring out where you stand. To keep your options open, you have to stay aligned with different people in different ways: respecting your boss, showing the new leaders what you can do, and keeping your team steady.
Today’s post is about how one leader navigated that kind of cascade, and came out with more influence on every side.
Key Takeaways
- Managing up and down at the same time means understanding what each person needs, not choosing sides.
- When a boss resists change, they’re usually protecting something, often the strategy they built or their credibility.
- Empathy works because it uncovers the internal reasons people push back. When people feel seen, heard, and validated, they drop their defenses.
- You can support your boss without fully agreeing with them. That balance is what earns trust in both directions.
Kami Started With a Strength
Kami was a pharmaceutical sales leader, one of two managers running a nationwide sales team. Her boss, John, had mentored her and given her real opportunities. He was also near the end of his career, and he didn’t like change.
From our first sessions, I could see that Kami was one of the most self-aware clients I’ve worked with. When she defined her leadership values, listening and empathy were at the top of the list. She paid attention to people: what they needed, how they felt, what was driving them. That turned out to be the foundation of nearly everything she accomplished.
She was going to need it.
When the Ground Shifted Above Her
Big changes were coming. Their product’s patent was about to expire, and generics would follow. There was talk of selling it over the counter, but John wouldn’t discuss it. “We have strong sales now,” he’d say. “Why dilute our focus?”
Then the company brought in a new general manager, Robert. John now reported to someone new, and he didn’t take it well. He started taking out his frustrations on Kami’s team.
At one team meeting, John made negative comments in front of Kami’s team. Later he told her, “They don’t know what they’re doing.”
“He used to be so supportive, but in that meeting, I felt like he was undermining me,” Kami told me. “His comments were affecting morale.”
Finding What Her Boss Was Protecting
Kami could have argued with him. Instead, she got curious.
She tried to see the situation from his side. John had watched the product succeed under a strategy he helped create. Many of the changes being discussed challenged assumptions that had worked for years.
So she started asking questions. What concerns did he have? What risks did he see?
The more she listened, the clearer it became. John wasn’t against progress. He was protecting what had made the business successful, and maybe his own place in that success.
This is why empathy works. Most of us want others to understand what we’re dealing with. And yes, most of us are reluctant to talk about our problems and fears. So the real reason behind someone’s pushback often stays hidden: the fear or concern they haven’t said out loud.
Empathy gets underneath that. When someone takes the time to ask what you really think, and actually cares about the answer, you feel understood. And when people feel truly understood and validated, they lower their defenses.
John didn’t need Kami to agree with him. He needed to know someone cared what he thought.
Support Without Full Agreement
Kami didn’t always agree with John. She didn’t pretend to. But she found a way to respect him without giving up her own view.
“Sometimes I just have to say, it’s ok if we have different opinions, and I really respect the value you bring to these conversations,” she told me.
That line let her stay loyal without staying stuck. She reminded herself of his good qualities before difficult conversations. She was careful never to threaten him, and stayed aware of how hard all the change was for him.
Their conversations returned to being more productive. John was more open to new ideas when he felt respected.
Managing Down at the Same Time
Meanwhile, her team needed her.
Kami started with a round of listening in her one-on-ones. “I want them to feel like I’m side-by-side with them, not over them,” she said.
She reminded them why their work mattered: “We are saving lives, quite literally.” As generics hit the market, she helped them focus on their real differentiators, practice their pitches together, and go after the customers who cared about more than price.
And she started advocating for something new: two support roles to help customers make decisions, peer to peer. She built out the plan and pushed for approval.
That’s managing up and down at the same time: respecting the boss who’s struggling, steadying the team that’s watching, and still moving the work forward.
What the New Leaders Noticed
Robert noticed.
He’d seen how Kami led her team and how she thought about the future. He invited her to brainstorm the brand’s position and put her on a cross-functional team exploring the over-the-counter strategy. She used the same skills there, meeting with peers before meetings, listening first, and folding their ideas into her own. Within a few meetings, the group agreed with Robert: they should develop a plan to go over the counter.
Her support roles were approved. And within a year, when John retired, Kami took his place.
She didn’t get there by going around her boss. She got there by understanding him, and by understanding everyone else, too.
Where to Start
If you’re caught between a boss who resists change and new leaders who want it, three small moves will help.
- Ask what your boss is protecting. Before you push, ask what concerns or risks they see. Listen for what they built and what they’re afraid of losing.
- Validate without fully agreeing. Try a line like Kami’s: “It’s ok if we have different opinions. I respect what you bring to this.” Then keep the conversation going.
- Steady your team. Do one round of listening in your one-on-ones. Remind them why their work matters. Uncertainty above them lands on them, too.
Managing up and down at the same time is a balancing act, and it’s hard to see your own blind spots while you’re in it. It goes faster with someone outside the situation who can help you find your footing.
Why Now
New leaders form their impressions early, and next year’s priorities are being set this quarter.
If you’re stuck between the way things were and the way they’re going, the choices you make now will shape where you stand in 2027.
Plan Your 2027 Leadership Move
If you’re caught between a boss and new leadership, let’s spend 45 minutes on it. I’m offering a limited number of free 2027 Leadership Plan calls on Zoom this fall.
We’ll talk through what’s changed, sort out what’s really going on and what you can control, and choose one first move for Q1. Within two business days you’ll get a one-page plan, no commitment necessary.
Limited slots, through December 16.
Book your 2027 Leadership Plan call
Keep Learning
When Someone New Is Above You: what to do when the leadership above you changes
From Expert to Leader: Empathy at Scale: how empathy helped one leader bring a whole company together.
Five Moments That Tell You It’s Time to Get Help With Your Leadership: the other moments, and how to tell which one you’re in.
Learn more about Kami’s journey in the journey preview library.
Find out more about the framework here.
FAQ
What does managing up and down mean?
It means leading in two directions at once: supporting and influencing the people above you while guiding the people who report to you. It gets harder when leadership above you is changing, because both groups need something different from you at the same time.
How do I manage a boss who resists change?
Start by understanding what they’re protecting, often a strategy they built, their credibility, or their sense of control. Ask about their concerns and risks before you push. People become more open to new ideas when they feel respected.
Can I support my boss without agreeing with everything?
Yes. You can validate their experience and respect their perspective while still holding your own view. Saying “it’s ok if we see this differently” keeps the relationship strong without making you a yes person.
How is the 2027 Leadership Plan call different from a sales call?
You bring what’s changed. We sort out what’s going on and pick one first move for Q1. You get a one-page written plan within two business days, whether or not you become a client.
