What gets in the way of empathy and change? Mostly it’s what psychologists call cognitive bias.
Cognitive biases are unconscious and irrational brain processes that literally distort the way we see the world. Psychologists have identified over 180 cognitive biases that skew how we perceive and remember events in the past and influence how hard we are willing to try or resist change in the future.
Here are a few of the biases that come up a lot at work:
- We tend to focus on details that confirm what we already think.
- We notice flaws in others more than we notice flaws in ourselves.
- We find stories and patterns even where there is little data.
- We imagine that things and people we are familiar with are better than they are, and that things and people we are unfamiliar with are worse than they are.
We edit memories, we imagine we know what others are thinking, we make assumptions and create stories when there is too much information and not enough. All of these biases make us resistant to change. Anything new is unknown, and—we imagine—worse than the present.
In all these ways, we skew reality and resist seeing the world as it is. While we usually express our resistance in logical ways, the heart of resistance is emotional.
And what helps us overcome resistance to change? Empathy of course. And gratitude.
This post is part of my Gratitude Project 2025: The Magic of Empathy — a 30-day exploration of empathy and gratitude. Visit the hub to follow along or catch up on past reflections.
If you’d like to explore the science behind gratitude, visit the Greater Good Science Center’s Gratitude Resources.
