Think about it: how hard would you work if your boss didn’t understand or care about you? That’s the power of empathy at work.
Key Takeaways
- Empathy isn’t softness—it’s the foundation of trust, belonging, and performance.
- Responding with empathy after mistakes lowers defensiveness and makes accountability possible.
- Quick empathetic responses—naming the impact, acknowledging feelings, signaling belief—turn problems into progress.
- Empathy builds psychological safety, which drives engagement, collaboration, and innovation.
- Practiced daily, empathy strengthens leadership presence and inspires people to do their best.
Just like you, everyone wants to be seen and accepted for who they are and the talents they bring. It’s a fact: empathy is a universal human need. When managers fill a team’s need for empathy, people want to do better. When people feel empathy at work, trust rises, new ideas surface, and teams reach harder for even ambitious goals.
Empathy Unlocks Engagement
Empathy in leadership is a superpower. When people feel understood, they relax their defenses, share information, and take smart risks—exactly what high-performing teams need. Without it, people clam up and stake out defensive positions. Instead of collaborating, they cut their losses and try not to get blamed or caught, especially when there are problems. However, when leaders are empathetic, teams willingly engage in problem solving. As a result, leaders make better decisions, improve collaboration, and build trust, which in turn improves execution.
When empathy is tactical, the payoff is practical: teams led with empathy work better and faster. This isn’t about lowering the bar; it’s about using emotional intelligence skills to keep standards high while removing the fear that slows people down.
How to Practice Empathy at Work
Most managers say they’re empathetic, but the real test comes after a miss, a mistake, or a tense exchange. In those moments, empathy in leadership determines whether people retreat into self-protection or re-engage with learning.
When people are punished for mistakes—yelled at, demeaned, or even slightly by being ignored—psychological safety erodes. People stop taking risks, so innovation suffers. But when leaders respond with calm curiosity (“Walk me through what happened”) instead of blame, their defensiveness drops. People tell the truth faster, solutions come sooner, and fixes actually last.
Empathy doesn’t erase accountability; it makes it possible. Separating the person from the problem—“I see why that was frustrating, and we still need X by Friday”—lowers shame, restores focus, and raises ownership. Over time, that consistent response creates a culture where ideas surface earlier, problems get flagged sooner, and standards are met more reliably.
A quick pattern you can use in the moment:
- Validate the feeling. “I can see why you’re frustrated. I would be too.”
- Name the problem, and the opportunity. “We lost a day on this; let’s find it.”
- Signal belief and offer support. “You can solve this—what do you need?”
It may be counter-intuitive, but when people feel safe, they raise their own bar. Empathy turns a bad day into forward motion. Practiced daily, this kind of deep empathy focused on non-judgmental understanding unlocks motivation, effort, and collaboration. Empathy strengthens belonging at work and becomes the foundation for every other emotional intelligence skill you want your team to develop.
Empathy at Work is about Impact and Leadership Presence
Empathy is more than “being nice.” It’s building leadership skills to stay calm, control your impulses, and put people first—even when you’re frustrated. That’s what makes it so powerful for building leadership presence.
When team members know their manager will treat them with empathy—especially after a mistake—they feel safe enough to learn, own their mistakes, and improve. In fact, Gallup reports that 80% of employees who receive meaningful feedback in the last week are fully engaged.
Contrast that with the “tough talk” approach. Managers who lash out or lecture don’t inspire growth; they just add shame on top of guilt. Instead of improving, people disengage and start looking for the exit. A famous meta-study of feedback found that 30% of feedback experiences actually lowered performance.
Think of it this way. After a mistake, what do you want your direct report to think?
- A: “My manager is angry. I think they’ve lost faith in me. Maybe I should look for another job.”
- B: “My manager had my back after that mistake. I need to work twice as hard to make it right. I’d do anything for them.”
The difference is empathy. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “That must feel awful,” or even a nod that shows you understand. However you do it, do it authentically. A brief empathetic moment plus your belief in someone’s resilience can flip a crisis into renewed commitment.
Final Thought
Some managers think that some employees just want a paycheck and don’t want to do anything more. I understand that it may seem that way. This is a result of years of micro-managing, mistrust, and a command-and-control style of leadership instead of empathy and psychological safety.
The expectations effect determines how hard a team member will try to grow, improve processes, and reach for higher performance. If you don’t expect it, they won’t offer it.
But if you want a team that is excited to implement changes, try new things, and engage in solving problems with you, try empathy. It’s a first step toward building trust and belonging, unlocking people’s internal desire to be their best. In addition, it will build your own leadership presence. They may not believe you at first. Just smile and give them a little rope. See if they can pull you up with them.
Keep Learning
If you’re curious about empathy, how to practice it, and why it works, here are a few more resources for learning.
- Trust at Work: The Most Important Way to Boost Team Performance — A complete guide to proven results from empathy at work and how to build it.
- Validation in Leadership: The Most Important Way to Help People Grow at Work — Learn how to validate employees effectively, why it builds trust, and five ways to practice it.
- How to Encourage Your Team to Speak Up More — Create psychological safety so your team shares ideas, asks questions, and raises concerns.
More leadership resources:
- Find all my blogs on empathy here.
- Ready to keep learning? Explore the full Leadership Resources Hub and choose your next step.
- Want to build empathy live? Join my free leadership workshop: One-on-Ones that Motivate.
FAQs: Empathy at Work
What does empathy at work actually mean?
It means understanding how others feel and showing you value their perspective—even when you disagree. In leadership, it’s about separating the person from the problem so accountability and improvement are possible.
Isn’t empathy too soft for tough business environments?
No. Empathy isn’t about excusing poor performance—it’s about creating the conditions where people feel safe enough to improve. Leaders who respond with empathy build more resilient and higher employee performance.
How can I practice empathy without lowering expectations?
Acknowledge how someone feels (“I can see this was frustrating”) while holding the line on results (“We still need X by Friday”). Empathy builds trust; clear expectations maintain standards. Both together drive performance.
What’s one simple way to show empathy at work?
Listen without judgment, then reflect back what you’ve heard. A quick acknowledgment—“That must feel awful”—combined with belief in the person’s ability to move forward, is often enough to reset trust and motivation.
