Tactical empathy gets results. Learn how to use empathy to build trust, boost performance, and inspire teams to succeed.

Key Takeaways

  • Empathy in leadership isn’t “soft.” It’s a proven driver of performance, trust, and resilience.
  • Research shows that when employees feel understood, engagement rises and turnover drops.
  • Practicing empathy means listening deeply, creating consistent space, and validating emotions without lowering standards.
  • Empathy builds trust, which motivates people to rise higher—not because they fear you, but because they feel supported.
  • Leaders who combine empathy with clear expectations inspire loyalty, innovation, and long-term results.

Empathy in leadership isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about seeing the world through others’ eyes so you can make better decisions, build trust, and inspire performance.

And yet, many leaders aren’t as empathetic as they think. One recent study found that 55% of CEOs believe they lead with empathy — but only 28% of employees agreed. That gap is holding back engagement, motivation, and ultimately, performance.

The data is clear: empathy drives results. Decades of research find that teams with empathetic leaders had higher engagement and lower turnover. Particularly in times of uncertainty, empathy becomes a competitive advantage — the very thing that helps organizations navigate crises and come out stronger.

So, what does empathy in leadership actually look like? And how can you practice it in a way that builds trust without lowering standards?

A Story of Empathy in Action

Recently, I coached a client — let’s call her Kelly — who was stepping into her first leadership role. She became Chair of the English Department at a public high school and inherited a difficult situation: two talented teachers locked in open conflict. In coaching, she was working on her empathetic leadership skills.

  • Julia had a master’s degree, deep subject-matter expertise, and a tendency to be bossy, blunt, and sometimes dismissive of colleagues.
  • John had more years of classroom experience but was defensive about his bachelor’s degree from a small local college and felt looked down upon.
  • Their clashes had escalated to the point of public outbursts that disrupted the whole department.

They were both strong teachers. However, the conflict was hurting morale. Unsure what to do, she asked me: “How do I fix this?”

My advice: “Don’t try to fix it. Start by listening.”

How Kelly Put Empathy into Action

I suggested that she set up weekly one-on-ones with each of them. The goal was to resist solving the problem. Instead, just try to understand them to build empathy and trust at work.

  • At first, Julia shared her frustrations and personal loneliness. After about a month, she admitted that in her one-on-ones with Kelly, she felt truly heard for the first time.
  • John slowly relaxed his defenses about not having a fancy degree. Kelly’s reassurances about his talents helped soothe his wounded ego. Soon, he began to talk more about how much he had learned in the classroom.
  • By slowing down and creating space for both of them, Kelly uncovered what was really driving their conflict—hurt, pride, and unmet needs—not just surface-level bickering.

Over months of patient listening, trust began to grow. Julia softened, John became less reactive, and the open conflict faded. By the next semester, they weren’t best friends—but they were no longer disrupting the team. After summer break when school started up again, Kelly was surprised to hear them backing each other up in faculty meetings.

Kelly’s experience shows how empathy in leadership can defuse conflict and build stronger teams. Later, Kelly reflected:

“It was really all about listening and empathy. I’m glad I hung in there because I discovered how powerful it was.”

A year later, Kelly was promoted to Dean—a recognition of both her results and her leadership.

The takeaway? Empathy isn’t about lowering expectations or “fixing” people. Rather, it’s about creating the trust that allows people to rise to their potential.

Why Empathy Matters for Leaders

When lleaders have empathetic leadership skills, employees don’t feel forced to change or resentful. They want to change. They step up, not out of fear, but because they feel understood, supported, and motivated to deliver. And often, they push themselves further because they don’t want to let down a leader who genuinely cares about them.

Research consistently shows empathy is not optional—it’s essential.

Choosing to bypass empathy might seem faster in the moment, but over time it erodes trust and results. Leaders who lean into empathy, by contrast, build the foundation for performance, collaboration, and loyalty that help them through even the toughest times.

How to Practice Empathy in Leadership

So, how do you actually practice empathy as a leader without losing focus on results? Here are six ways to put empathy into action every day.

1. Listen Beyond the Words

Most people listen to respond. Empathetic leaders listen to understand—tuning into tone, body language, and unspoken concerns. Ask clarifying questions instead of rushing to answer.

2. Resist the Urge to Fix Everything

Leaders often want to jump in with solutions. But empathy isn’t problem-solving—it’s presence. Reflect back what you’ve heard and show confidence in your team’s ability to handle the issue. That belief can be transformative.

3. Practice Patience

Trust and change take time. People rarely shift overnight. Steady listening—even through the “messy middle”—is what turns problems into lasting progress.

4. Create Consistent Space

Patience is the mindset; consistency is the method. Creating consistent space is one of the most overlooked aspects of empathy in leadership. Schedule regular one-on-ones even when things feel smoother. Trust compounds and relationships grow when people know they have a safe place to talk.

5. Acknowledge Emotions Without Taking Them On

You don’t have to agree with someone’s perspective to recognize how they feel. A simple “I hear this is frustrating for you” validates their experience. Then take it one step further: express your belief in their ability to overcome the challenge. When people feel both understood and trusted, they gain the confidence to push forward.

6. Hold the Line on Expectations

Empathy doesn’t mean lowering the bar. It means showing you care while keeping standards steady. People rise higher when they feel both supported and challenged.

The Real Payoff

That’s why empathy in leadership is not an optional “soft skill.” It’s a strategic leadership tool. Leaders who practice empathy and trust at work don’t lower standards—they inspire people to meet them. Kelly’s rapid promotion wasn’t a coincidence—it was the direct result of leading with empathy.

When leaders build trust and motivate people to rise, results follow—and those results get noticed.

Curious how empathetic you are as a leader? Take my Free Emotional Intelligence Audit to find out. In minutes, you’ll get personalized insights and practical steps to lead with empathy, build trust, and inspire performance.

Keep Learning

Empathy is a core leadership skill, essential for building trust and psychological safety on a team. Here are some more posts that might answer your questions about empathy and trust at work.

Common Questions About Empathy in Leadership

Isn’t empathy too “soft” for leadership?

No. Empathy is a strategic tool. Research consistently shows it boosts performance, lowers turnover, and builds resilience—making it one of the most effective ways to lead.

How can I practice empathy without lowering standards?

Empathy doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means listening, acknowledging emotions, and supporting people while holding expectations steady.

What if I don’t have time for long conversations?

Empathy doesn’t always take hours. Even five minutes of focused listening and validation can defuse tension and build trust.

Can empathy be learned?

Absolutely. Like any leadership skill, empathy improves with practice. Start by listening beyond words, reflecting what you hear, and creating consistent space for dialogue.

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