They may be brilliant technicians, but if they can’t work with others, leadership coaching may be the best investment you can make.
Key Takeaways
How to Deal with an Employee Who Can’t Work with Others
- Technical brilliance can’t compensate for poor relationships.
- The problem is rarely skill—it’s awareness, safety, and emotional control.
- DIY fixes rarely work; coaching offers a safe, structured path to change.
- Frame coaching as growth, not punishment.
- Leadership cultures that value respect, feedback, and learning reduce these issues long-term.
More often than you might think, leaders come to me struggling with a brilliant but difficult employee. These employees often have extraordinary technical skills that are hard to find—but their inability to collaborate weakens team morale and productivity.
Professions that prize technical ability—like engineering, finance, or research—sometimes reward deep expertise over interpersonal skills. When people succeed for years based on what they know rather than how they relate, they may neglect the leadership and communication skills they need to keep growing.
Eventually, employees who can’t work with others hit a ceiling. When they reach management levels, those same blind spots can stall or even end their careers.
Talking to an Employee Who Can’t Work with Others
The organization faces a real dilemma when one person’s behavior starts driving others away. Yet, no one wants to confront the issue directly. How do you talk to someone about alienating others—without alienating them yourself?
When workplace tension becomes “the problem nobody can talk about,” fear and silence lower productivity across the board.
Fortunately, this situation is more solvable than it appears.
DIY Usually Can’t Solve the Problem
Why DIY Usually Doesn’t Work
In most leadership challenges, I can offer DIY solutions—but this isn’t one of them. The person typically needs a confidential, neutral space to talk honestly and reflect.
Talking to their boss often makes the problem worse. A leadership coach provides a safer environment, tools for self-awareness, and a structured process for change.
Coaching is usually more effective—and far less costly—than replacing the employee. It’s discreet, respectful, and protects morale while giving the person a chance to succeed.
See my case study about one client who went from nearly fired to highly trusted.
What a Leadership Coach Can do
What a Leadership Coach Can Do
A coach can diagnose the core issue and create a development plan with measurable goals. Common derailers include:
- Arrogance: acting as if they’re smarter than everyone else.
- Judgment: making others feel inferior.
- Poor communication: expressing ideas bluntly or insensitively.
- Emotional reactivity: acting from anger, fear, or stress.
- Low impulse control: saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
- Insecure attachment: needing too much reassurance or withdrawing completely.
These behaviors can stem from personality traits, false beliefs, or simply a lack of emotional intelligence. Coaches help identify which applies and teach practical, relational skills that improve teamwork fast.understands the problem, they will have ideas about how to help the employee get the skills they need.
How to Approach the Subject with the Difficult Employee
Most people welcome professional coaching when it’s framed as a growth opportunity—not a punishment.
Focus on career advancement and leadership development, not on what’s wrong. Here’s how to make the conversation constructive:
1. Include leadership skills in job criteria.
Make relationship-building, communication, and collaboration measurable parts of performance reviews.
2. Use feed-forward, not feedback.
Focus on what they can learn, not what they’ve done wrong. Note their strengths and the value they bring. Discuss future goals and learning opportunities.
3. Choose the right messenger.
If the relationship is tense, let HR or another senior leader initiate the conversation.
4. Problem-solve together.
Include the employee in selecting a coach or training approach. That ownership increases engagement.
5. Create a culture that values leadership.
Sponsor workshops, talk openly about leadership growth, and recognize good examples publicly.
Leadership Training Options
Leadership coaching, executive development programs, or even a skilled therapist can help transform behavior. Often, the most effective programs combine assessments, feedback, and one-on-one coaching over time.
As Bob Chapman writes in Everybody Matters, when companies commit to leadership growth, performance soars—because people feel cared for and supported.
It’s Not Hopeless—It’s a Chance
Having a brilliant employee who can’t work with others is difficult, but not hopeless. With support and clear expectations, people can learn to collaborate, communicate, and rebuild trust. Don’t wait too long to act. As Jocko Willink says, “There are no bad teams, only bad leaders.”
When you invest in developing someone’s leadership skills, everyone benefits.
Keep Learning about Difficult Employees
- Empathy in Leadership: Why It Matters and How to Practice It — Tactical empathy gets results. Learn how to use empathy to build trust, boost performance, and inspire teams to succeed.
- Validation in Leadership: The Most Important Way to Help People Grow at Work. Validation at work is one of the deepest human needs—and one of the most overlooked leadership skills. Nothing motivates people more than feeling seen, heard, and valued.
- Trust at Work: The Most Important Way to Boost Team Performance — Cultures of trust don’t just correlate with results; they cause higher performance. Learn about the expectations effect and why trust is essential for performance.
FAQs for Dealing with an Employee Who Can’t Work with Others
How do you coach an employee who can’t work with others?
Start with awareness. Use coaching or assessments to help them understand the impact of their behavior and start with small steps where they can see positive change.
Should you fire a difficult employee or invest in coaching?
If they have valuable skills and show willingness to change, coaching is almost always the better first step.
What if they don’t think they have a problem?
Focus on future goals and advancement, not on past mistakes. Frame coaching as an investment in their success. Be clear about leadership expectations and help them realize that change is in their best interest.
How long does leadership coaching take?
Most people begin to show improvement within 8–12 weeks, though sustained change takes ongoing practice and feedback.
