Empathy–and other behaviors rooted in emotional intelligence–are essential to creating the conditions for high performance.

Empathy is the basis for workplace behaviors that lead to higher performing teams. Building a real culture of performance means going beyond putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It means using empathy and all the other positive behaviors that build relationships of trust and belonging, including listening, recognition, curiosity, compassion and gratitude. Taking time to build authentic relationships of trust is essential to motivating and encouraging everyone to pull together as a real team.

You’ll know you have built a high performance culture when everyone on the team will do anything to avoid letting their teammates down. That’s when results start to soar.

Studies show that the difference between organizations that consistently reach the top quartile of performance and those that are average or less is team members who care about each other and the company mission. When whole groups of people bring their whole heart to their job, it shows.

So, how do you create that kind of environment for your team? This is at the core of emotional intelligence, which is about building skills that help other people feel safe and connected.

Here are six behaviors that encourage trust, belonging, and a shared commitment to common goals:

1. Empathy

Everyone knows that empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Practicing empathy as a manager is difficult and often demands you to be kind when most want to be angry. It’s about controlling your impulses and putting other people first.

Empathy leads to high performance when your team can trust you to be empathetic, even at their worst moments. When managers treat team members who make mistakes—even dire mistakes—with empathy, the team member’s desire to do better in the future increases markedly. Research shows that when managers are consistently empathetic, motivation, loyalty and a dedication to higher focus all improve, often for years.

A lot of managers question whether empathy is the right response, especially when a direct report makes a serious error or comes up short over time. Many managers think it’s better to be straight with the people on their team, let them know how badly they messed up, and teach them a lesson. In practice, they only thing a direct report learns from tough talk is that you have the power to make them feel bad, often on top of their own guilt or regret. It erodes loyalty and decreases motivation.

Think about it this way. When an employee makes a mistake, what do you want them to think?

A. My manager is really mad at me. I think they are losing faith in me. I’d better start thinking about another job.

OR

B. Wow, my manager really had my back after that mistake. I need to work doubly hard to make up for it and make things right. Thank goodness for my boss. I’d do anything for them.

Showing empathy can be something as simple as saying, “wow, I can imagine that would feel pretty bad.” Sometimes just a nod or a facial expression can let someone else know you understand them.

However you do it, do it authentically. Simply holding an empathetic moment and expressing your belief in their resilience will increase their sense of empowerment and get them working to make things right.

2. Listening

Listening to someone with the sole intent of understanding them is a powerful demonstration of how much you care. For some managers, engaging in listening may seem like a waste of time or a luxury that they can’t avoid. In practice, not listening to team members is perceived as a lack of respect and leads to lower performance. Ironically, ignoring what your team has to say has the effect of making your job harder.

Cutting people off, dismissing their ideas, ignoring their contributions, or not giving them a voice in decisions and processes they are involved with will inevitably lead to disaffection for the organization and the manager who represents it. The result is a worker whose primary goal is deniability rather than accomplishment.   

While it may seem like a small act, listening is the key to increasing performance and freeing you up for higher level work. For people who have not been listened to in a while, meetings can take an hour or more. Be patient. Just listen and empathize. No need to be a therapist and it will be counterproductive to try to solve their problems. Just let them know you believe in them to solve their own problems. Eventually, as the direct report begins to trust you and feel respected, their work ethic will improve, and you’ll find they need less and less of your time.

Listening is sometimes the easiest way to improve performance. If your team thinks you understand how tough it’s been for them, they will reward you for caring.

3. Recognition

Recognition is an intrinsic part of validating people’s work and letting them know what to do more of. Nothing is more motivating than feeling like a valued part of a larger community. It doesn’t have to be a party or a gift. Recognizing good work can be a simple high five or a shout out in a team meeting.

By contrast, a lack of recognition ranks among the top five threats in an office place. People who feel taken for granted also feel alienated, as if they hardly exist. They are likely to conclude, often erroneously, that what they do is not important to the overall success of the organization.

Anything that lets them know you value what they do will go a long way to motivating them to work harder to help you reach your goals.

4. Curiosity

Curiosity about how others think and do things leads to more innovation, expanded customer opportunities, and a better understanding of the complex world in which every business operates, and leads to higher performance according to studies by McKinsey.

Curiosity is the antidote to being judgmental. You might not think you are judging others, but even subtle hints of superiority can have very real effects. Whenever you say that someone “should” be doing something, you imply that they are wrong and you are right. It is a form of condescension and judgment that erodes loyalty.

When you feel the impulse to judge or correct someone, try substituting curiosity instead. Curiosity signals that you trust them to have reasons for whatever they are doing, even if it’s not how you would do it. By listening, you show respect and value for their contributions, building their sense of loyalty and safety.

5. Compassion

Compassion is a particular kind of empathy that demonstrates you understand someone else’s suffering. In an office, compassion can take the form of helping a colleague through a difficult transition or work situation, or it can go beyond that to understanding and empathizing with their personal difficulties.

Compassion is important to building a sense of belonging in teams where there has been a recent history for many people of loss, trauma, and loneliness. Collectively, we have all been through a lot over the last few years. Mental health issues have skyrocketed. A little compassion can go a long way to helping someone feel safe in this uncertain world.

Showing compassion or empathy is separate from problem solving. Offering solutions where none is asked for is a sign that you don’t believe in their ability to solve their own problems and can backfire, making them feel as if you have demeaned them.

The only thing required is to let them know you care about their difficulties, and that you believe in their ability to overcome hardships. If your company offers mental health benefits, encouraging them to find help if they need it is a great way to show you care.

6. Gratitude

Gratitude is a small act with huge benefits. No matter how bad things are, gratitude is the beginning of resilience. A quick expression of thanks to a colleague or an acknowledgement in a meeting of your appreciation can initiate a flood of efforts to do more of what is needed. Even a quiet thought in your own head about what is going right can help you be in the right mood to motivate others.

Studies of gratitude show that practicing gratitude leads to better physical and psychological health, increased happiness and life satisfaction. It releases the grip of negative emotions and toxic thoughts and steers the brain toward a sense of optimism that allows for more engagement with others. Lightening the load of negative thoughts helps workers be psychologically more open to contributing to common goals and community betterment. In a workplace, happiness is like gold.

Practicing gratitude in your own life and encouraging others to do the same can have a powerful effect of creating a workplace where performance leads not to burnout but to higher performance. Consider putting a daily gratitude reminder on your calendar at work and see how you benefit from starting your day with gratitude.

Build Trust and Belonging in Your Workplace

Keep a list of the behaviors that build trust and belonging within your team and see how your results begin to rise as your colleagues find more energy and motivation to pitch in and get things done.