An astounding number of managers and business leaders, 67% of them, report being uncomfortable communicating with their employees.
That discomfort is about half attributable to the difficulty of delivering tough messages to employees, from feedback to company initiatives.
It also includes a fair share of people who find it difficult to communicate even good news to employees. It’s difficult for many bosses to even deliver positive feedback like crediting others with good ideas (16%) or praising employees for their achievements (20%).
Employees and companies thrive when communication is clear, expectations are explicit, and feedback is used to keep employees on track. Reluctance to communicate clearly hurts everyone, especially those charged with leading the team.
Having a communication plan can make breaking any kind of news much more comfortable and elicit the kind of response you hope to get.
If you’ve been shrinking from tough talk, try these six steps to make the process easier and get your team on track to better performance.
- Connect authentically: Charging in headfirst with a message in an effort to get it over as quickly as possible is bound to increase not decrease discomfort on both sides. Employees raise their guard when a boss or higher up stops to discuss anything, so starting with a tough message is likely to make them strengthen their defenses. Start with some chit chat, and connect authentically about something positive. Even in the toughest business situations, there is something going right, even if it’s just that the thermostat seems to be well adjusted. While you connect, try to sense the employee’s openness or receptivity. If you sense the employee is stressed for other reasons, consider backing off and trying a little while later.
- Ask permission: After some chit chat, transition into the tougher topic by asking permission to bring up something more difficult. They are likely to bristle a little bit, but asking permission gives them a sense of control. Power dynamics being what they are, the employee is unlikely to feel comfortable denying you the chance to say what you need to say. The illusion and sense of giving permission helps them feel they have allowed this moment to happen. Often, the message is not nearly as difficult as they might imagine, so it might even create relief when you deliver a message that is simply company line or clarifying of tasks or missions.
- Start with facts expressed in an “I” statement: Starting with a fact helps them understand some context and consider an event. It places focus on work and outcomes and is less likely to make them feel personally threatened. Try something like: “I’ve noticed recently that your reports have not included the detail that we discussed adding last month” or “I’ve noticed that you’ve been a few minutes late to our team meetings recently.” By placing your observation the front, you avoid accusing them. It’s a good idea to pause for a few seconds while they take in what you are saying. Tolerating a little silence while they think allows them to shift their focus to the concern at hand and review their actions.
- Ask them to verify the facts. Stick with facts when you ask for their first response. Try to agree on what is happening. It might be difficult for them to admit their lapses, so give them a little wiggle room. They might have an excuse, or they might come up with information that may surprise you explaining something. Don’t expect them to incriminate themselves. Try to listen to the reasons they come up with explaining the issue. If the intention is to solve the problem rather than blame, this is the moment to begin learning why this is happening so that you can start to fix it.
- Engage in problem solving together: Once you have agreed on what’s happening, engage in a give and take about how to do better or fix the issue. Both you and the employee should contribute ideas here. You may discover that the employee simply doesn’t have the resources to do what is required: not enough time or a lack of a key skill. These gaps may need to be addressed to get the results you want. On the other hand, you may discover something happening in the employee’s life that is causing problems or lapses. If there is a serious personal issue, suggesting they take a personal day off to address it can be an extraordinary stepping up and act of generosity that will result in long term loyalty and an employee who gives 110%. Be empathetic and try to identify and address the root cause of the problem. In any case, there should be agreement on some action steps the employee can take to begin resolving the issue and agreement on what will constitute success of the first steps.
- End with a time to follow up: To ensure you resolve the issue and make further communication easier, suggest that you follow up at a specific time, like next Tuesday. Making sure they have small steps that can implemented right away can give them a small success. When you follow up and find progress, praise and celebrate with them. A high five or “good job” is enough to encourage most employees. Let them know you see them trying and reinforce further progress for the next week.
Once you have tried this method once or twice, you’ll find your skill in managing difficulties growing. You’ll be less reluctant to engage the next time, and performance is likely to start rising. Choose your moment wisely and approach the issue carefully, and then stand back and measure results.
As a coach, I specialize in communications and leadership. Book a free session if you are looking to improve your ability to inspire and influence.