Validation

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Empathy That Saves Lives: Lessons from Chris Voss | My Gratitude Project Day 18

Today I’m sharing another book about empathy that saves lives and that has deepened my gratitude for empathy. Empathy that saves lives? Yes, this is a book about how empathy, or the lack of it, results in life or death. The title is Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. This is another personal and practical book, this time by a former FBI terrorist negotiator. Voss details his own journey to learn…

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How Caroline Fleck’s Book “Validation” Deepened My Gratitude for Empathy | My Gratitude Project Day 17

This is a post of gratitude for Caroline Fleck’s book, “Validation,” a must-read for anyone who wants better relationships in life. Why am I talking about empathy? After all, this is My Gratitude Project. But I am truly grateful for some recent books on epathy that have called my attention to its power and uses. So much so, that I want to share my reading with you. Here is the first book I want to recommend: Validation: How the Skill…

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Empathy and Change: The Paradox That Transforms Us | My Gratitude Project Day 11

Ironically, empathy and change are more closely related than most people think. Empathy and change might seem to be opposites, but the secret of empathy is that it is what most people need in order to be ready to change. Resistance operates a lot like Newton’s Third Law of Physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What it means is that forces come in pairs. It may not seem like it, but if you push against…

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Eight Practices of Empathy That Strengthen Connection | My Gratitude Project Day 9

When we break it down, empathy becomes a number of small acts and practices of empathy. Here are a few practical and tactical practices of empathy, with special thanks to Caroline Fleck and her excellent book on Validation: Whatever you call it and whatever you do, use these empathy skills to keep your mind on their experience and help you understand them. Try various ways to show you get them and see what works best for you. This post is…

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Naming Feelings: The Next Step in Empathy | My Gratitude Project Day 8

When empathizing, there is another step beyond mirroring: naming feelings. If you want someone to know that you empathize with them, try naming their feelings. Naming feelings can be a little tricky because you can’t ever 100% know what someone else is feeling. The key is to listen closely enough that you can imagine what you would feel in that situation. If you have listened enough to understand their circumstances, it’s just a small leap to name how you would…

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Mirror Neurons and Empathy: We’re Wired to Connect | My Gratitude Project Day 6

Innate mirror neurons hardwire us for empathy. We are born with mirror neurons and empathy, which promote the emotional connection we need to thrive. How we use empathy in daily life determines how well we create the bonds that satisfy our human needs. Yesterday, I wrote about copying someone’s words as a way of signaling that you hear them and at least, that you are interested in hearing more from them. But actually, mirroring or copying doesn’t require words at…

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Lisa D. Foster, Ph.D. ACC  is an independent coach. As an Associate Certified Coach by the International Coaching Federation, Lisa honors and abides by the ICF Code of Ethics.  All coaching sessions and consultations are confidential.

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