And What It Tells Us About Where Leadership Skills Are Headed Over the past year, thousands of leaders came to this site looking for help on leadership skills. Not tips. Not hacks. But judgment — how to think, how to choose, and how to lead when the stakes are real. That matters. Because when you look closely at what people are reading, sharing, and spending time with, you start to see something clearer than trends. You see the questions leaders…
It’s Thanksgiving. Empathy and food — is there a connection? I don’t think so. Let’s all just be grateful today for the food we have, and empathize with those who are hungry. And if you have a crazy uncle at the table who starts trying to spout his views, don’t confront them. Spend a moment trying to empathize and understand and validate them and then go back to eating. It will keep a little peace at the table, and more…
Today I’m sharing another book about empathy that saves lives and that has deepened my gratitude for empathy. Empathy that saves lives? Yes, this is a book about how empathy, or the lack of it, results in life or death. The title is Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. This is another personal and practical book, this time by a former FBI terrorist negotiator. Voss details his own journey to learn…
This is a post of gratitude for Caroline Fleck’s book, “Validation,” a must-read for anyone who wants better relationships in life. Why am I talking about empathy? After all, this is My Gratitude Project. But I am truly grateful for some recent books on epathy that have called my attention to its power and uses. So much so, that I want to share my reading with you. Here is the first book I want to recommend: Validation: How the Skill…
Ironically, empathy and change are more closely related than most people think. Empathy and change might seem to be opposites, but the secret of empathy is that it is what most people need in order to be ready to change. Resistance operates a lot like Newton’s Third Law of Physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What it means is that forces come in pairs. It may not seem like it, but if you push against…
When we break it down, empathy becomes a number of small acts and practices of empathy. Here are a few practical and tactical practices of empathy, with special thanks to Caroline Fleck and her excellent book on Validation: Whatever you call it and whatever you do, use these empathy skills to keep your mind on their experience and help you understand them. Try various ways to show you get them and see what works best for you. This post is…