Emotional self-awareness is the most important skill for leadership effectiveness.
As you would with any other important conversation, take time to prepare for empathy. Preparing for empathy will help you improve your results. If you want to use empathy tactically to influence somone, take time to prepare. Empathy as a skill is not to be taken lightly. Here are 5 questions to prepare yourself before you try to empathize with someone else. 1. What are their motives? Consider what they are doing now and their reasons for doing this. Do…
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Empathy and turkeys — a half-serious post on the day before Thanksgiving? Should we empathize with turkeys? This is treacherous moral ground, and I am of the opinion that in our morals, we must each be guided by our own conscience. Vegans don’t eat any animal products, often because of a sense of empathy with them. I respect that. I also know that domesticated animals wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for farming. Most farm animals wouldn’t survive in the wild—or…
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When an office has a difficult employee, leaders come to me asking why some people lack empathy. It is common to believe that some people simply lack empathy. I understand why some people believe this, even though every human brain (and many animal brains) have mirror neurons in our brains that hardwire us for empathy. So, why do some people seem incapable of understanding others? I’m not qualified to discuss the effects on empathy of neurodiversity conditions like autism, narcissism…
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What gets in the way of empathy and change? Mostly it’s what psychologists call cognitive bias. Cognitive biases are unconscious and irrational brain processes that literally distort the way we see the world. Psychologists have identified over 180 cognitive biases that skew how we perceive and remember events in the past and influence how hard we are willing to try or resist change in the future. Here are a few of the biases that come up a lot at work:…
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Sometimes we forget to pay attention to empathy and body language: the loudest clues that have no sound at all. Let’s take a moment to talk about empathy and body language. Our bodies are always talking, signaling how we really feel. Regardless of what our words say, our bodies give us away. Unless you are a professional poker player or actor, you probably don’t think about or control how your face and body posture broadcast your feelings to the world.…
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When you practice everyday empathy, life gets easier. Everyday empathy isn’t just a feeling. It’s a skill to use daily. My husband, Gary, is a master of empathy and it’s many uses. Years ago, flying home from visiting my relatives in Colorado for Christmas, we got stuck at the airport with our two young children, then about 5 and 7. We were supposed to fly out of a regional airport but when our plane was cancelled, Gary rented a car…
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