Emotional self-awareness is the most important skill for leadership effectiveness.
What gets in the way of empathy and change? Mostly it’s what psychologists call cognitive bias. Cognitive biases are unconscious and irrational brain processes that literally distort the way we see the world. Psychologists have identified over 180 cognitive biases that skew how we perceive and remember events in the past and influence how hard we are willing to try or resist change in the future. Here are a few of the biases that come up a lot at work:…
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Sometimes we forget to pay attention to empathy and body language: the loudest clues that have no sound at all. Let’s take a moment to talk about empathy and body language. Our bodies are always talking, signaling how we really feel. Regardless of what our words say, our bodies give us away. Unless you are a professional poker player or actor, you probably don’t think about or control how your face and body posture broadcast your feelings to the world.…
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When you practice everyday empathy, life gets easier. Everyday empathy isn’t just a feeling. It’s a skill to use daily. My husband, Gary, is a master of empathy and it’s many uses. Years ago, flying home from visiting my relatives in Colorado for Christmas, we got stuck at the airport with our two young children, then about 5 and 7. We were supposed to fly out of a regional airport but when our plane was cancelled, Gary rented a car…
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When empathizing, there is another step beyond mirroring: naming feelings. If you want someone to know that you empathize with them, try naming their feelings. Naming feelings can be a little tricky because you can’t ever 100% know what someone else is feeling. The key is to listen closely enough that you can imagine what you would feel in that situation. If you have listened enough to understand their circumstances, it’s just a small leap to name how you would…
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Empathy is non-judgmental. As soon as you start judging someone—labeling them good or bad, right or wrong, should or shouldn’t, and the like—you have ceased empathizing. The point of empathy is simply to understand someone, no more, no less. Empathy cannot be about you or your opinions or how you would do it. Like you, everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, reasons that have built up over time. Decades of habits and experience that have led us…
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Defining your leadership coaching goals is how you turn a vague wish from “be a better leader” to a specific, measurable plan for growth. When you know how you want to develop, you can find the right coach—and make every session count. Every effective coaching relationship begins with one simple and powerful question: “What do you want to work on?” Key Takeaways for How To Identify Your Leadership Coaching Goals If you only have a minute Remember this Clear goals…
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