Thnking about how to get promoted can bring out the best in us — or the worst.

Trying to figure out how to get promoted can bring out the best in us — ambition, motivation, the desire to grow. But it can also trigger habits that quietly work against us. Most people assume promotions come from working harder or talking more. In reality, leaders are promoted for how they make others feel: respected, included, aligned, and empowered. If you’re aiming for your next step up, here are five promotion traps to avoid — and what strong leaders do instead.

Key Takeaways

What to Remember:

  • Promotions rarely come from pushing harder — they come from building trust, respect, and strong leadership presence.
  • The most common mistakes come from trying too hard: overasserting, overselling expertise, or overcontrolling.
  • Listening, learning, empathy, and developing others are the leadership behaviors that signal readiness for next-level roles.

5 Promotion Traps That Hold Strong Performers Back

Trap 1: Being Too Assertive

When someone wants a promotion, they often push harder to be heard — which can come across as aggressive or overbearing. You might feel like you’re demonstrating confidence, but others may experience pressure rather than leadership.

What to do instead: Listen more than you talk

Listening is the strongest signal of respect and leadership presence. When you take time to understand others — their ideas, concerns, and motivations — they naturally reciprocate. They listen to you more closely later. They support your ideas. They see you as someone who leads with clarity and fairness.

Listening builds trust. Trust builds influence.

Trap 2: Trying to Show How Much You Know

High achievers often try to “prove” readiness by demonstrating expertise. But we’ve all seen people who try to be the smartest person in the room — and how quickly it becomes off-putting.

What to do instead: Adopt a learning stance

Research shows that nearly 70% of leadership skills are learned on the job. Every new role brings a learning curve. Leaders who show humility, curiosity, and a willingness to learn signal that they are ready for greater responsibility.

People who demonstrate confidence and learning rise faster than those who try to prove they already know everything.

Trap 3: Pushing the Team Too Hard for Results

When you’re eager for a promotion, you may tighten expectations, micromanage, or work in a command-and-control style. The intention is good — but the effect is the opposite.

Teams who feel pushed shut down. They disengage and, so, your results are likely to go down instead of up.

What to do instead: Lead with empathy

Tactical empathy is an essential leadership tool. Talk to people one-on-one. Ask what they need. Remove obstacles. Offer guidance.
Every team member is either missing:

  • training,
  • motivation, or
  • clear alignment on priorities

When you help your team grow through empathy — not pushing them harder — results rise in a sustainable, upward curve. Empathy is not soft. It’s a performance tool.

Trap 4: Guarding Your Role Instead of Developing Others

Ambitious professionals sometimes protect their territory, guard information, or worry someone might “outshine” them. The irony? This stalls promotions more than anything else.

If you’re the only person who can do your job, you’re too essential to move.

What to do instead: Develop at least one person who can take your place

Leaders rise when the organization can see a clear succession path. If you mentor a strong performer on your team, you become promotable — because you’ve prepared the business for continuity.

This is one of the most overlooked leadership skills.

Trap 5: Trying Too Hard to Be Liked

Building relationships matters — but leaders who overfocus on being liked often avoid tough conversations, shield the team from helpful feedback, or take on too much work themselves.

The result? Burnout for the leader, stagnation for the team.

What to do instead: Focus on building respect

Respect always requires mutual effort:

  • Listen deeply
  • Understand others’ needs
  • Support their growth
  • Recognize progress and effort

When you lead with respect, people trust you, follow you, and grow with you. Respect fuels performance — and promotions follow performance.

How to Get a Promotion: Lead With Respect, Trust, and Empathy

Promotions don’t come from pushing harder. They come from showing that you can lead others well — with clear priorities, empathy, trust, and confidence. When you listen, learn, develop people, and build respect, you stand out as someone ready for greater responsibility.

If you want to strengthen these leadership skills and learn where to focus next, try my Leadership Skills Audit or explore how leadership coaching can help you grow with confidence.

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