When you’re looking to find a business coach, one of the first questions a coach will ask is about your coaching goals: “What do you want to work on?”
If you haven’t thought about that before, defining your coaching goals can feel overwhelming. The key is to start with your pain points—the everyday frustrations that keep you up at night—and connect them to the leadership skills that can help you move forward.
Key Takeaways for how to set the right coaching goals
| If you only have a minute | Remember this |
| Why coaching goals matter | The best coaching goals grow out of real-world challenges you face every day. |
| How to use this post | Identify which questions sound familiar and connect them to the leadership skill you want to strengthen. |
| Next step | Share your top one or two goals with a coach and explore how they can help you develop those skills. |
1. Connect Pain Points to Coaching Goals
The questions below are ones nearly every leader asks at some point. Each reveals a specific opportunity for growth—and a coaching goal that can make a measurable difference.
| When you’re asking yourself… | What your coaching goal might be | Leadership skill to develop |
| “How can I increase my leadership presence and be seen as a leader?” | Strengthen executive presence and be recognized for your leadership impact | Confidence, Empathy & Trust |
| “Why do I feel stuck even though I work so hard?” | Grow authentic confidence and increase visibility | Confidence & Trust |
| “How can I handle stress without burning out?” | Stay calm and make clear decisions under pressure | Confidence & Self-Management |
| “Why do people push back or seem unmotivated when I give feedback?” | Communicate clearly with empathy and respect | Respect, Empathy & Alignment |
| “Why won’t my team speak up or share ideas?” | Create an open, safe environment for honest conversation; protect your team’s self-esteem while encouraging growth and results | Empathy, Trust & Alignment |
| “Why does my team keep making mistakes?” | Build psychological safety so people learn from mistakes and problem solve openly, instead of trying to hide errors | Trust & Empathy |
| “What can I do with a difficult employee?” | Support them as they learn the skills they need to get along better with others | For you: Empathy & Alignment • For them: Confidence, Empathy & Trust |
| “Why don’t people on my team seem motivated?” | Inspire lasting motivation by building trust, belonging, recognition, and shared purpose, the universal human needs for being our best | All six leadership skills working together: Confidence, Empathy, Trust, Respect, Alignment & Decision Making |
| “What’s my next step?” | Clarify priorities and move forward with focus | Decision Making & Alignment |
If any of these questions sound familiar, use this chart to discover where to start. Coaching works best when it focuses on the skills that solve real problems.
2. The Leadership Skills That Drive Success
Once you identify your biggest challenge, you can turn it into a clear coaching goal by focusing on one of these six leadership skills. Each is supported by extensive research including studies from Harvard on emotional intelligence, to Amy Edmondson on psychological safety, to Bob Chapman’s work on respect in business.
The first three skills below are foundation skills, the ones that you work on personally to create leadership presence and a steady foundation for the rest. The last three are team goals that put several skills together in a way that elevates and reinfoces performance.
Confidence
True confidence—what researchers call self-regard—means accepting yourself fully: the good, the bad, and everything in between. When your confidence is solid, you stop getting triggered into a fight/flight/freeze response that distracts from work. True confidence creates calm. It helps you listen under pressure, make clear decisions, and project steady leadership that earns respect and trust.
Empathy
Teams disengage when they feel ignored or misunderstood—and they engage when they feel seen and heard. Leaders create that connection by using empathy as a tactic, not just a feeling. Showing empathy opens doors to dialogue, trust, and better problem solving.
Trust
Trust grows from respect and listening. When people trust you to consistently treat them with fairness, respect, and caring, results and effort rise. Collaboration replaces fear and teams focus on shared goals. As Harvard researcher Amy Edmondson has shown, trust also creates psychological safety—a culture where people can speak up, make mistakes, and learn without fear of blame. Without it, innovation and growth stall.
Alignment
Signs of low performance—missed deadlines, incomplete goals, or slow execution—usually aren’t “people problems.” They’re alignment problems. Alignment is what allows leaders to maintain both high standards and psychological safety. When people know what’s expected and how their work fits into the bigger picture, results accelerate.
Decision Making
Every leader lives and dies by the quality of their decisions. We like to think we make rational choices, but emotions often get in the way. Good decisions come from gathering better information, managing impulses, and balancing outcomes for all stakeholders. Emotional intelligence helps you see reality clearly and act with purpose.
Motivation
Motivation at work comes when the leaders and team culture satisfy our deep human needs. Great leaders learn to diagnose what their team needs most—safety, belonging, respect, or self-actualization—and respond accordingly. All the skills above—trust, empathy, confidence, alignment, and decision making—come together here. When you meet your team’s deeper needs, motivation soars.
3. Turn Insights into Action
You can learn all these skills, but the best way to learn them is in manageable pieces. Choose one or two that address your biggest frustrations and define them as your coaching goals. Consider building your foundation skills first—confidence, empathy, and trust—for best results. For example:
- “I want to build trust so my team feels safe speaking up.”
- “I want to strengthen my confidence so I’m ready for promotion.”
When interviewing coaches, share these goals and ask: “How do you help clients build skills like [trust/confidence/etc.]?”
The right coach will explain their approach and share examples of how they’ve helped others develop those same skills.
Keep Learning: How to Find a Coach Series
Explore more resources to help you define your goals and choose the right coach:
- Why Hire a Coach, and How to Find the Right Coach for You
- What Business Coaching Is and Why It Works
- Coaching vs Teaching vs Therapy — What Is Better for Me?
- Executive Coaching vs Leadership Coaching — What Is Right for Me?
When you’re ready to find the right coach, explore how leadership coaching helps good leaders grow with confidence, empathy, and trust.
Looking to build leadership skills live? Join my free leadership workshop: One-on-Ones that Motivate.
