My post in Forbes offers an easy way to lead with less judgment and encourage others more positively.
What does it mean to lead with less judgment? You may have heard that judgment is not a postive leadership attribute. Perhaps someone has hinted that you are judgy or unapproachable. If so, here is a simple technique to lead with less judgment.
Check out my new article in Forbes: “The Case Against The Word ‘Should’: Less Judgment Allows Leaders To Better Connect With Their Teams.” My intention is to raise awareness of the subtle ways in which judgment creeps into managerial relationships, leaving damage in its wake.
The word ‘should’ and other ways of telling people what to do often leave direct reports feeling diminished, not supported. It may feel like helping, but often, it does more damage than good.
An Example of How to Lead with Less Judgment
I once had a client come to me saying she had been told she was unapproachable. I asked her to describe her most recent meetings. What did she want to say and how did she say it?
“I’m strong,” she admitted. “I want to be honest and I tell people what I think what I think they should do.” As we discussed her philsophy, we both agreed that being authentic and honest were important goals and leadership traits. However, we talked at length about telling people what they should do.
I let her know that the word “should” implied judgment. It implies that she knows better, and therefore, implied superiority. “I never thought of it like that.”
Instead, I suggested that she use curiosity. Why was someone doing this or that? Once she understood their reasons, she might want to share why she wouldn’t do that. The goal is to seek understanding, not judge.
Two weeks later, she reported that not only had she stopped using the word “should” at work, but also at home. “It has changed everything with my daughter! She is so much happier and open with me.” She was astonished by the effect of changing one little word.
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